Warning: My entry is from the book “What’s in the cards for you?” by Mark McElroy. If you don’t want spoilers from the book, please don’t proceed. Thanks.
The book asked to pick a card to signify my greatest fear. I chose between the 10 of Swords and The Tower. For me, these two are probably the most bothersome cards in the tarot (not death nor devil). My fear closely resembles The Tower so I picked it as my significator. The fear in my mind is about the future of my relationship with my parents. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to meet their expectations. Every time I talk with them over the phone, my mom silently implies that they’re getting old and they’re worried that nobody would take care of them. She fears that they will end up in a caregiver’s attention instead of me. I love them so much but I don’t have the answer to this question yet. We live hundred miles apart and some beliefs clash and I’m still having a hard time constructing a stable solution.
The Tower – Tarot Significator
The picture shows a tower being hit by some sort of asteroid. One leg that supports the structure is starting to fall apart and thus destroying the tower. My family is based on a good foundation of love and trust. This is how I see my family. But my fear is that this foundation is not strong enough.
After I shuffled the cards extensively and cut it into three piles, I randomly drew The Queen of Wands, 10 of Swords, and Ace of Swords.
Queen of Wands – Why does this frighten me?
The Queen of Wands strongly reminds me of my mom. I respect my mom’s opinion very much. Her words and advice gives weight in a lot of my decisions. She took really good care of me when I was growing up and I feel that it’s my job to return the favor now that they’re getting old. I owe her that much. I love her so much that I’m not afraid to say that I’m a mama’s boy. LOL. It’s just how it is. Now what frightens me is not meeting her expectations.
10 of Swords – What I need to realize to go past this fear?
Whatever tarot deck you choose, the 10 of Swords will always depict a painful message. In Legacy of the Divine Tarot (by Ciro Marchetti), it shows a guy being pierced by 10 swords. This card is basically telling me that if I don’t stop thinking about this fear, it will affect my current situation emotionally, mentally and physically. Keeping this fear is like living in a false future. It’s like torture.
Ace of Swords – What can I do to begin to move beyond this fear?
Ace means beginning. Swords symbolize mentality. The simple answer for my fear is clearing my thoughts. Start fresh. Clear your mind. Disregard the painful past and false/imagined future. I need to live today and build my relationship with my family from the ground up and give a better alternate (possible) future.