PDR: Dread Spread

Deviant Moon

This is my first entry for my Primary Deck Reflections 2010. I used the “Dread Spread” by destinyawaitsme from Aeclectic Tarot Forum. I did the spread last Thursday and the reason for picking this spread is because I was planning on coming out to some co-workers on Friday (and I did).

1.  What is the source of my dread? Ace of Wands

2.  How can I decrease my anxiety? Ten of Coins

3.  Best way to carry out dreaded action? Eight of Swords

4.  Outcome for the other party/s involved? Six of Cups

5.  Outcome for querent? Strength

Generally looking at the spread, I see a balance of suits and one major arcana card.  The major theme will be about Strength (from outside factors and within self).

1. The Ace of Wands is about embarking a new beginning with an enthusiastic and confident energy. The torch or the fire represents the drive in doing or pursuing something. The trees on her head represent her fresh and new ideas that lights her vision. The darkness suddenly doesn’t seem scary anymore. The baby that she is holding is coming out of a cocoon. Something beautiful is on its way and it’s ready to show himself, at long last. The baby is being held tightly which suggests that he will be welcomed with open arms.

Apparently, this is the source of my dread. I’m eagerly waiting to come out of my shell and tell everybody who I am, but I want to do it with caution. When my co-workers told me that they are planning a happy hour at The Abbey, I took it as a sign. It’s the safest place to come out with friends and co-workers.

2. The 10 of Pentacles is a representative of material wealth and prosperity. The card shows a father and son relationship. They are playing the game of chess and it’s the child’s turn to move. He slowly raises his hand but is unsure of his decision. He knows that once he makes a move, he can never go back and change it. This reflects a permanent decision.

The servant has a separate story but something similar. He carries the board game on his back like a burden. He steals an important piece of the game which renders it incomplete and impossible to finish. This is a burden to him and the only way to be free from this is by revealing himself to his master. But this is a huge decision for him as well. Consequences are unknown: he can be rewarded for his honesty or he can be punished for his intrusion.

To decrease my anxiety, this is suggesting me to make that big decision and stick with it. And I did. There’s no turning back now. I’m out with them, and I know this little info about me will spread like the plague. But I’m ready for it.

3. The 8 of Swords is the solution to this. This card shows a lady being pulled by the moon’s influence. She loses control and now she is about to fall out of the window and to her doom. But what’s almost unnoticeable is that daybreak is almost here and the moon’s power will soon fade. All she needs to do now is to find that extra strength left so she can survive the struggle. Maybe she should hold on to the window’s edges and have faith that it will be over soon?

This applies to my situation by accepting the inevitable. The swords represent my thoughts. Sometimes I beat myself too much that it leads to feelings of powerlessness. Maybe I will get hurt, maybe not. I forget that it’s only temporary.

4. When I saw the 6 of Cups as the outcome for my co-workers. I knew it’s going to be okay. For me, the six of cups talks about good memories. The card shows a bunch of kids enjoying a puppet show. They are enjoying each other’s company and are having a great time. I see this as my possible future with them… more events, more plans, and more fun!

5. The Strength card is my outcome for myself. It is the only major arcana in this spread. The picture shows a tall, muscular guy tackling a dangerous creature. He is unafraid of getting hurt by its sharp teeth. The creature is not giving up and so is he. It’s about developing patience and internal strength. I’m reminded by the saying, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” by Friedrich Nietzsche.

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8 thoughts on “PDR: Dread Spread

  1. But you missed the most important part – how did it go???

    Congratulations; I know it can’t be easy, especially working in the environment you do. There are sadly still so many misconceptions… I especially like the 8 of Swords in this reading – it’s like ripping off a band-aid!

    • Thanks submerina! It went well! The thing is, it’s easier to come out to gay people compared to coming out to straight people… and it just so happen that most of the people who attended are gay. One lady co-worker is living with her partner for 10 years now. And one guy is also in a relationship.

      It’s funny because I don’t really look or act gay, so people are always curious. One of them was asking me “safe questions” like, “What is your type? Maybe we can find someone for you here…”. I just went blunt about it and said, “I’m not looking, I already have a boyfriend.” LOL. Then the sharing began…

      • Hooray! I’m glad you have a “support group” who understand – *really* understand – what it’s like to step into the particular unknown. See, the sun came up and evaporated all the Swords 🙂

    • Hi! Thanks for reading my post. It went really good. It was better than I expected. I knew it was the right time. Coming out is a life-long process, especially when you’re meeting new people all the time. And I’m new in my workplace so nobody really knows me. =D

      Oh, that’s a red velvet cloth that came with my “Light of the Goddess Tarot” set. It looks and feels beautiful.

  2. What a fabulous spread for Deviant Moon! Every time I see this deck, it just seems to get more powerful looking to me. I don’t have it(yet).

    I’m glad your decision worked out so well. Being able to be your whole self around others is such a liberating feeling.

    🙂 Leigh

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